Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Gun

Why does a person choose to own a gun? Is it because they want to feel Protected? Safe? or Cool? While these are not always some of my reasons, they are reasons that someone would choose to become a gun owner and with much consideration and contemplation I have decided to become one. Its a big deal deciding what you want to have. I had my heart set on a cute tiny little Micro Desert Eagle .380. I was lucky enough to shoot it as well. It handles great and because its heavier then the average small handgun it handled the recoil pretty well. I also tried a Ruger LCP which is a .380 as well. I didn't mind it but it hurt my hand when I shot it and I felt like I was going to drop it. It just didn't feel sturdy enough in my hands. But it is a great little gun and a popular choice among those who like to carry. In the end, I purchased a Ruger LCR .38 special and I love it. Its a revolver so there is no messing with a slide. Once its loaded its ready to go (and I don't need Jared to load it for me). I still shoot better with Jared's gun but with some practice I think I will get pretty good with it.

Micro Desert Eagle

Ruger LCP

Ruger LCR

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Happy Birthday!!

Our little Dexterpants is 3 years old today. He mostly slept and snuggled with me on the bed. What a life! He got a bone to eat and loved it. Here are a few pictures of our little stinker through the years. Boy did he grow up fast!

The last two photos (the other is Delilah) are courtesy of Sweet Honey Photography. http://www.sweethoneyphoto.com/
Thanks Brandy for taking such beautiful pictures of our babies. We were left with over 600 pictures to choose from.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?

So ... I have bad news. Our last IUI did not work. If you are not aware, Jared and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 1/2 years. We have gone through so many various tests and procedures to discover and/or remedy any issues that may have an effect on why we have not conceived yet. I have been open to talking about our situation with close friends and family but have held off on writing anything down. Which now I regret. I need to get my feelings out. I have a bad habit of holding them in.
With all the tests that our doctor has done we have discovered that I have endometriosis as well as endometriomas on both of my ovaries. The first Laparoscopy I had in August of 2008 my doctor removed any endometriosis he could find and drained the endometriomas. The second time around in September 2009 there was a small amount of endometriosis which he removed and he completely removed the endometriomas. My Endometriomas grew inside my ovaries so when he cut them out I lost almost half of my ovary on one side and about a fourth on the other. My doctor assures me that this will not decrease my chances of getting pregnant but increase them. After the surgery in September I felt optimistic. I first needed to heal for 6 weeks before we could try again. It was suggested that we do another IUI to increase our chances instead of trying "the old fashioned way". This was our fourth. It did not work and I am crushed. Now our options are: a procedure called GnRH-a which will cause the endometriosis (not necessarily a factor of infertility) to go into recession. Here is a link if you want more information.


Our other options are In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and adoption. I do not have a problem with adoption and will consider if needed but I still want to try for my own. So for now that’s not something we are considering. I personally don’t feel that the GnRH-a is going to help us. Sure it’s always beneficial but with the second Laparoscopy there was very little endometriosis and the endometriomas are gone. I can also save the money that would be spent on the GnRH-a for IVF. I feel like it is going to be our best chance to have our own kids.
All I've ever wanted was to have a family. I don't know why I chose this challenge. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy so why would I choose it for myself and Jared? I know that we will have children eventually. God has promised me that. It's just hard to keep that in mind and keep my faith high when every month I'm holding back the tears.

Naughty Delilah

Naughty Delilah
Making a mess

Naughty Dexter

Naughty Dexter
Helping with the mess